When the words “I love you” come out of your mouth, do you mean it? How far are you willing to go for the one you claim to love? Better yet, how far will love make you go or what will love make you do? You and those around you day in and day out will be able to tell when you have fallen in love. Why? Because your brain releases a chemical that affects how you think. Anyways, this is about my point of view…. I will get more scientific later. This post is about me describing what I think and/or feel about love.

So, first off, what if there are differences in background, like rich vs poor or criminal background vs someone who has never broken the law or stolen a free balloon in their whole life.
What about pride? Would pride come before love and stop someone’s emotions from going any further? Do you think loving someone is good enough reason to take major risks?  What would a person be willing to give up in the name of love? Would it be wise to do so? 
  What if your family didn’t accept the person you love because of background, level of education, job category, race,religion, ect…Would you let other’s advice run your love life? Would you walk away from a person who is willing to become one with you and has shown his/her devotion, to please your family’s traditions and/or believes?
  What if you’re already married, but you’re miserable…? Ok before going on with this one, let me explain something to all married couples and I must say this because real families are at stake. If you are in a relationship whether legally married or not… Please THINK VERY HARD, there is a HUGE difference between being unhappy and being bored. If you decide to bail on a relationship, do it for the right reasons and just to mension a few… If you’re going through mental problems such as depression, psychological problems/sexual abuse, physical or any type of abuse and you’re no longer happy as a result, then moving on would be the right thing to do. Then there is the boring relationships…. That, can be fixed with communication, lots of it, and lots of quality time sessions of rediscovering each other all over again using flirting as a method. Boredom isn’t a good reason to bail out, nor a good reason to cheat. . . But, like I was saying…
What if you’re stuck in a marriage that is the second version of hell? Many, process the thought of divorce as a huge hustle and drama that they do not wish to deal with. Most feel like divorce would be like jumping from a frying pan into the fire. But the thing that people are mostly careful about, is their own image. People rather be unhappy than be the one pointed out in society as the one who asked for the divorce. So you stay married. Even though you’re miserable, you’re in your comfort zone, in a material figure of speech. It is easier to find a playmate, to support the needs that your original partner doesn’t give you, than starting all over again… The fear of failing again keeps you incarcerated and unhappy. What is the plan when you meet someone else? Obviously, the plan is to fulfill what you’re missing. What if feelings begin to evolve for a whole new person? Would you be willing to move on and just walk away with nothing for the sake of your happiness? Or will the current status of your wealth and comfort overpower your ability to love and be loved again? 
Many things could prevent true love… Background, race, religion, family traditions/believes, level of education, being rich vs being poor, nationality, and much more.
  “I love you” are three powerful words conducted by several chemicals released by the brain that makes people do the unthinkable when they truly are in love. Love boils down to acting out on it when spoken of. Love has no filter or fear of showing its self. Meaning that when a person is in love, their willing to fight for it, shows, and becomes inevitable…. it just happens by nature. A person in love finds ways for the impossible to become possible.
Study the following: “I love you, but you know I can’t be with you, but I don’t want to lose you…. Please don’t leave me.”
Anybody ever heard that one before? I have and boy did it do a number on me. So, been there, heard it all, done that, and still… I stayed. If you are going through a similar situation right now, just know this… You’re not staying because you really believe that he/she truly loves you. You’re staying because you have the courage to risk and see if there’s any possibilities that it might be your soulmate. . . even if means that you might get hurt… All while giving another the chance to prove themselves worthy of the investment. But will that person join the investing with you? Overall, if you find yourselves inevitably helpless to the must give him/her a chance, to see if perhaps they will finally open their eyes, and see how your heart beats for him or her, ask yourself this question…. Why? Look in the mirror and say this words… why do I love him/her so damn much? What did he/she do to have me head over heels? Is the sex appeal, smell, or the sound of their voice good enough reason to put my heart on the line? I don’t know if you l know this, but its something I have recently learned… Pheromones, is one of the chemicals released by your brain, that makes you believe that you’re in love. The way a person looks, smell, or even sound, triggers the pheromones to release. Therefore, wanting to love happens by nature. So you see, you’re not doing anything wrong, your actions are caused by nature. However, you know when you have went way over your head. Your subconscious mind will let you know when you have crossed the line (or at least, that’s what happens to me). Thats when its time for me to practice a mirror session with myself and perform a series of question and answer my self as honest as I can be. Not always do I get the answers I want to acknowledge.
WARNING: the answers might end up feeling like anger, but let me just tell you that you were never stupid nor dumb…. Anger might start to take over, but not to worry. It is not a bad kind of anger (at least in my experience) it is simply a kind of anger that yes, it may b***tch slap a little, but that’s just your subconscious mind’s way of taking that pheromone blindfold off your eyes, that has been showing you only what you wanted to see. It’s the kind of anger that will arm you with the determination to walk away. Think of it as a self emotion upgrade and firewall protection.
   Bottom line, keep in mind that love is a private property that many enter but not always accepted.  Loves property contains a pool of risks, often turning into quicksand if taken lightly. Most get rejected, others drown in the pool of never-ending risks, others get swallowed by the quicksand made of nothing but pure drama, and very few, make love’s property a living paradise.
 How brave are you to dive into a pool of risks, go to war with those against your happiness, and be ready to show what you mean when you say that you love.
Also, keep in mind, that it is allowed to question the terms and conditions…. Why do you love? Why does he/she love you? Then approach the answer as if it was the final exam. In which the task was to match what is being spoken with his/her ongoing actions. Take it serious, for love does test you at times vigorously. A couple’s test’s final score should be discussed with one another, out loud, and eye to eye (not through text) to determine if you are compatible as a lifetime team. It is a long journey for two. So, walk the walk baby.
 Take this emotion very serious by doing a self assessment or study… Know the reason behind your love towards another… Make sure that it is not obsession you’re feeling… Obsession will only cause you pain and darken your soul, possibly even destroy other people’s lives if not your own.. So control your emotions, don’t let your emotions control you. I myself, have abandonment issues (childhood stuff…. Long story) that could trigger obsession that may lead to actions such as clingyness and refusing to letting go. I have done that and the only thing that i gained from it was a broken heart, cause by me, and losing someone special. Lol i got too clingy, so, now I am very careful with love and I don’t mention it unless I truly feel it. How do I know it isn’t obsession…? Well I my self have my little mirror sessions to where I self evaluate.
  Love is not a game nor the heart is meant to be used as a self-satisfaction toy for one’s advantage. Respect other people’s emotions beginning with your own. Emotions,specially love and anger are powerful enough to take over common sense, and make you act foolish.
Never make decisions based on emotions, which I myself have done MANY times (lol yeah learned the hard way how stupid I made myself look on many occasions, thank goodness for maturity). Also,  pay attention to your horny (for high sexual drive or can’t get enough sex kind of person…. LEARN TO MASTURBATE….) In other words, AROUSAL FEELINGS, if not contained or controlled, could lead to scaring and ugly tormented regrets. 
*has flashbacks
*has cold chill
*snaps out of it and gets back to topic
Overall folks, even though my intension is to restore the moral and true concept of love, who are we kidding, right? We are not necessarily F***ck ups, we’re simply not perfect. Therefore, mistakes are bound to happen. However…. Do keep this question in mind, how long dies it really take for someone to show some signs that they love you after they have told you they do? Think about it, you either love or you don’t. Do not beat your self around the bush, much less let someone else insult your intelligence. Do not play dumb like you don’t know what really is going on, when you really do know, but don’t want to admit it. I mean don’t get me wrong, in many cases, mine for instance, there were lots of times when I was lied to. One can be gullible to a certain point in one’s life, til you reach a level of maturity. Playing dumb, just to blame someone else for your emotional pain, only creates unnecessary drama, makes a person unlikable, unattractive, and it is most likely to backfire. No one will feel sorry for you other than yourself. So listen, don’t waste years being unhappy questioning whether he or she truly loves you or not. One way of solving a doubtful question on whether he/she loves you or not, do this: give your heart,support, and love…. Stop giving your body…… Then wait fir results. You’ll see, give it time and the answer won’t take long to reveal its self.
Moral of the story, in my opinion, when someone says I love you, but their actions says otherwise… Chances are, you are being played and it is lie used to benefit something from you. A player will accuse you of being controlling for demanding to put their words in action and try to use reverse psychology on you, by trying to make you feel bad for supposedly “rushing them and being pushy.” I mean come on, you either love or you don’t. On rare occasions common sense circumstances such as the distance, type of business and things of that sort, may intervene with the ability in being able to physically show your love. . . but come on, there is always a way to make someone smile with a simple act of love… Ok for a better understanding…. If you say you love, act on it somehow, find a way and get creative if you can. Stay consistent if not finding ways to have a stronger connection with your love. Takes two to tango, if practice often, your performance everywhere will blossom and become inspiring to those who are set out to believe that love does not exist. How bout coming out and proving that it does. Please, by all means, become a role model to the public eye and proudly present the existence of love.
Hope that helps someone.
Yours Truly, Ms Lovely

One thought on “Confession 23 – Love and The Big Picture

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