When something or someone rare to come around, the fear of losing that something or someone leads to insecurities… Therefore, possessive behavior is bound to happen. I know, because it happened to me.
I gotta confess that I have never met such a charming gentleman in all 38 years of my life, I mean…. NEVER!!! I have never experienced such profound intimate love. I became overwhelmingly loving, over protective, and possessive. My behavior pushed this rare opportunity to actually be loved away.
My behavior wasn’t psychotic physically harmful. It was more like detachment issues. I overwhelmed him with my stubborness needy behavior. I wanted to be with him all the time. My love was and still is very powerful and not afraid to show it.
I guess childhood memories and experiences affects everyone different. I convinced myself, that my past would never interfere with my future. As life went on, I never saw any issues from my childhood affecting my present day. So, instead of becoming bitter and hatefu from lack of love and excessive abuse… I grew up with the idea of what love was by studying people’s behavior. Was I looking for something? I don’t know… I did always felt like there was something missing in my life. In October 27 of 2015…. I found it! It was the look in a man’s eyes and the gentle touch of his fingers that I feared of ever losing. He fed me that love I hunger over, I gathered all that love that I have stored for years waiting for someone to claim it, and overwhelmed him with it. Then, sadly… He became distant and annoyed.
When I finally saw how my love affected him in a negative way… I lost interest and broke it off. I chose to walk away, taking my love and my heart back. Now, I’m just currently waiting for that special someone who can handle a love like mine.
The only traits I didn’t store or let take over me was and will always be… stalking, violent, and/or suicidal behavior.
I already lost someone due to being possessive. Will I behave the same way, if another comes along?…. To be honest, I think I will… Possibly because I have a lot of love to give and it is activated at the sign of love given. I can’t explain it, but it is only one look in a man’s eyes and the way he kisses me, that I will determined to guard it with all my might, til I know he is completely mine. How will I know…. Only because he will be the kind of man that has been waiting for my kind of love and assure me as many times it takes that he isn’t going anywhere, because he has been waiting for a woman like me, and therefore does not want to let me out his sight as well.
Everyone wins and walks away, HAPPILY EVER AFTER.
Will my fairytale come true? While the world might be against the odds, I root for that 1℅ possibility it will. Hey, it happened once… It could happen again. I for once want to mean the world to somebody… Who is willing to drop any case for me… As so would I.
Yours truly, Ms Lovely